Bedroom Talk

how do you teach kids to not be show offs?

step daughter is 7 years old, she has been showing off and likes to make other kids jealous of her. How can we help this behavior change? one example, if we go get jamba juice or something, shell wave it infront of her aunt or cousins saying "i got jamba juice! i got jamba juice" in an annoying song tone. (we told her she had to share since she was bragging) We recently bought her a new bedroom set(she needs it since she is living with us and has her own room) and she says to me that her cousins are going to be SOOO jealous of her. She goes around telling people that we have certain stuff (nice cars, electronics.. etc) We dont like this behavior, and dont know how we can change it. at her mom's house she doesnt really have nice things, so maybe when she is with us, she wants to show off what she has? how would you fix that?

Public Comments

1. its just an attention thing where she likes to let everyone know the nice things she has. she is probably just proud. although i know its not very necessary to tell everyone, and its best to get it sorted before she gets older and it gets worse. it could also just be an age thing that she will grow out of. if she does it then talk to her and tell her that she shouldnt act this way, or maybe just ignore her and when she doesnt get a reaction from anyone she might give up. im not really sure how to get through this situation as i havent been through it myself, but maybe when you buy her something explain to her that she is getting it for being a good girl for her behaviour improving, and any time in future she shows off that she wont get something she likes. it might be harsh at first but sometimes thats the only way they will learn. its personal preference how you want to handle this, maybe involve your families so everyone can help. im sure it will stop as she gets older. sorry if i wasnt very helpful. good luck.
2. Well, you could turn it back on her, make it so someone else has something better, don't get her things that she's likely to show off about, or you could try and humiliate her in someway. There may not be a way, just anything she shows off about, take it off her, untill she runs out of things to show off about, then, as she calms down, re-introduce the things she shows off about, stage by stage, but every time she shows off, take it back off her. Hope it helps!
3. she seems to be on cloud nine with all you and your husband are doing for her. it is nice she feels this happy and is appreciative of the things she is receiving. she is excited and feels loved and that is why she is bragging. i guess explain to her it is nice to have things and nice to enjoy them but it not nice to brag to those who don't have them. i think she is trying to show you her appreciation for the things she is getting. ask her how she would feel if someone did that to her. this works for my son because we sit down and i get him to really think about it. i use role playing with him. i tell him to make believe he is the other person and i behave toward him like he was behaving toward someone else he has hurt or mistreated and then ask him how it makes him feel. he has to think about it and tell me to the fullest how it makes him feel. it works with him, i hope it works with yours. good luck and i am glad she is so happy and you and your husband can provide well for her. she will grow out of it once she becomes accustom to it most likely.
4. WOW! and she is 7. Explain to her how less fortunate some people are and with her waving nice things in front of people make her look rude and ugly. No little girl wants to hear that they are ugly... Meaning ugly acting. Tell her that her behavior is causing her not to get nice things and if she continues the showing off she wont get them. Tell her you buy those things for her to appreciate not to wave them around to other who cant get them. Make her feel guilty and understand how hurtful it is when she does that. You can tell her if she does that... that particular item she is waving around goes to the person she is showing off to, I bet she will stop.
5. Talk to her about how it makes her feel when other people have something and don't share or when they brag about having more stuff than her. Then ask her why she would want others to feel that way? Also, lead by example and PRAISE her when she does not do it. The best way to praise her is to talk on the phone (even if you pretend) and say "Did you know that Katie got a new dress today and didn't brag to her friends about it! She is sooooo considerate!". When she hears you telling others about it, she will beam! I wouldn't punish her by making her share though. You don't want sharing to be a bad thing.