Bedroom Talk

Chapter 1, What do you think?

Public Comments

1. it was wierd i dint et where the taco came in? what was with taht.
2. sorry but i think no 1 is gonna read ur question....................
3. pretty good. descriptive but a bit odd
4. Why are you writing this. Unless its for a class and you're being forced to write, I suggest that you stop. After reading chapter one, you'd have to pay me to read chapter two. I dont't understand why anyone would want to read about your utterly boring, completely average existence as a run-of-the-mill high school student. Your descriptions are terrible. For instance, "your medium sized TV". Even worse was your description of your friend. "Sarah is that girl who isn't gorgeous but isn't ugly either." You spent absolutely no time on this and it shows. It reads like you just started typing about a few things you remembered. If you have a story to tell that you think we'd want to hear, then that's fine. But your first chapter should be relevent to that story. Also, your spelling and grammar and punctuation need improvement. Ronde-Vu, unless your spelling is some kind of joke, should be spelled rendezvous. You tell us absolutely nothing interesting about yourself. What you do tell us about yourself, gives an impression of a below average intelligence, boring person. Frequently, you pass up opportunities to do so. Why not at least humor us with some antecdotes. Like: How do you cheat? What are your trophys for?